As someone who struggle with body image, I was forced to look at myself again when a size 12 model (who is gorgeous) was called Sport Illustrated first plus size model. Was it SI that called her that or was it the media? Who made the determination that she was a plus size? Why did she need a classification at all? Wasn’t her beauty enough? After all she was in SI’s swimsuit edition.

As a size 10/12, I looked at myself and wondered, “Am I really a plus size?”

Well according to many fashion and fitness organizations, I am. My journey to love me has been a constant struggle all my life because my mind has given into the beautiful ideal that I think I should fit into. I watched the actresses, models and fitness gurus and wondered why I could look like that? The answer is simple: I wasn’t built like them and I am not suppose to be them. I am suppose who I am!

So then why is there a constant need for the media to show us unrealistic images of women and say that this is the norm? Who has flawless skin? No one does. Who has the perfect body? No one does. So why is it that the industries think that a size nothing is the ideal of beauty.

So what is the “perfect” body? I say, there is none. Its a mythical ideal that industries have used against women for many years. Or you could say, they all are. I have friends of all shapes and sizes and I think they are all beautiful! In my late thirties is when I decided to learn to love me and my body. I admit, it has been a struggle. I still compare myself to the unrealistic ideal and wonder whether or not I was good enough.

Still, this story had me looking around for what was the average size of American women so I could see I compared. I found that most articles and studies agreed that the average size of women in the US is size 12 or 14. So why is the average considered plus size or obese? Why is it that we average women are shamed into thinking that we should be skinnier, prettier and flawless?

I know that no matter how much I work out or how much I diet, I will NEVER be anything less than a size 10/12. I know, I tried it and I was miserable and sick. I have learned how to cleaner and less processed foods but I don’t deny myself the foods that I love. My exercise of choice is belly dancing at least three to four times a week. I am learning to enjoy my life and living it to the fullest.

I say we stop women and girls from shaming ourselves into disliking or even hating who we are based on unrealistic ideals. We should base our lives on who we are, what we do for those around us and how we feel?

Shouldn’t we be kind to us and love ourselves with all of our glorious flaws? Shouldn’t we be teaching the next generation of girls and women all everything it took many of us years to figure out.

I think it is time that we stand up to the media, fashion and fitness and say, “ENOUGH! I love who I am and I won’t try to be something I am not, nor ever will be.”